Peanut Butter and Jelly

I learned recently that I had failed to do one important job as a father.  I had not yet imparted the proper way (and there is a proper way) to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Some people, if not most, may view peanut butter and jelly as the hated lunch item you smooshed when you found it in your lunch bag at school.  However, if the construction of the sandwich is executed correctly it can rival some of the finest meals. 

So, we will begin our discussion where any sandwich starts, with the bread.  The bread should be preferably home-made (or at least freshly baked) and cut to no thinner than 1/2" thick slices.  If you must use store bought bread, never, ever use Wonder Bread.  It's only good for smooshing.  Or fish bait.  The bread doesn't need to be white bread, but from experience any strongly seasoned bread doesn't mesh well with the peanut butter or jelly. It's best to stick with a white or wheat bread.

Now that we have our 2 slices of bread, we need to put something on them.  I won't get into a discussion on the merits of creamy vs crunchy peanut butter, that's possibly another blog post so I will just let the reader choose his or her favorite.  The jelly should either be strawberry or grape, or possibly blackberry.  If you use something like orange marmalade then it isn't really a jelly sandwich. 

Spread the jelly on the bread thickly enough so that if you hold the bread vertically jelly starts to slide off.  You aren't doing it correctly if all the jelly stays on the bread.  The peanut butter should be at least 1/8" thick, but that's really just a start.  I aim for about as thick as the nuts in the crunchy peanut butter. 

To assemble the sandwich, place the bread with the peanut butter on top of the jelly side.  This way the jelly doesn't slide off the bread - peanut butter sticks to bread. Once the two halves are together, the jelly will have a harder time falling off. 

To eat the sandwich, you have to eat it jelly side up, or all that peanut butter will stick to the roof of your mouth.  If you eat it jelly side down and it isn't sticking, you did something wrong and there isn't enough peanut butter on the sandwich.

Now that you know the correct way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Happy Eating!  I am certain that if you follow these directions carefully, your next sandwich will be much more enjoyable than your last one.,